


Bucky's Best Guy

by CalsLaundry



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Confusion, Cute pining, M/M, Peter and Gamora are doing their thing too, They're cute, Trans!Reader - Freeform, even reader crushes on gamora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-03-26 08:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19001725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalsLaundry/pseuds/CalsLaundry
Summary: -Early morning peeks through the curtain, and you feel him shift. His breath hits the back of your neck and in nothing close to conscious instinct, he reaches out to drape an arm over your waist. You freeze, but he feels so lovely. Little by little, he scoots closer, until his cheek is pressed between your shoulder blades. It’s even better than you imagined.-I know y’all are not used to multi chapter work from me, but this has been a long time coming! When I read @bloodiedskirtts work, I was super inspired to write the Avengers in a college setting too, and I also decided to use the whole thing as a weird mouthpiece for how I feel dating as a transguy. The way the reader experiences issues with dating is specifically my experience and doesn’t speak for anyone else, though I do of course hope that it helps someone feel less alone.





	1. Chapter 1

 In the closed showers of the college gym, Bucky prattles with friends, laughs, jokes, comments on Steve’s “best girl”.  
Always the girls, they are always his focus.  
Two stalls away, today is no different. He passes a comment, innocent enough, about Steve’s girlfriend and you are sure you can hear Steve roll his eyes.

“Maybe find your own girl, Buck. Can’t always go after Steve’s lady, though I mean…”

You assume Steve casts Sam a look and Bucky’s laughter bounces off the walls. Sam’s voice is found again;

“What kind of girls do you even like?”

You know the question is directed at Bucky. You feel awkward eavesdropping, as if you’re spying to find out what your crush prefers. Not that it made a difference; you’re no girl.

“Ah, I don’t know. Not many”

“What about that girl in the gym? She’s cute”

Steve’s voice throws you off, and you realise it shouldn’t. You shouldn’t even be listening. You finish up, a quick wash of your hair, but they start again.

“Nah.”

“What about that girl who worked in your last group?”

Your heart pounds and a warm nervous feeling works through your gut and behind your ears at Sam’s question.

“Who…?”

“You know, short hair, always has that big hoodie on.”

“Oh, no.”

You choke for a moment, a blank “no” and he sees you as a girl.

“He’s not a girl. Transdude.”

“Oh, sorry. Don’t know him.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Well, what about him?” Steve asks .

You dry in the stall, quick as you can, content enough having heard Bucky reaffirm your gender to someone. You reach out and grab the sports bra and tshirt by the door. It was enough to make you look a bit more yourself before you left properly. Bucky’s silence does stick with you and you wonder if there’s any chance at all.

“I mean…”

That says enough. You open the stall and slip towards the back part where no one can spot you. You dress, in jeans and the hoodie Sam commented on funny enough, and right before you put your backpack on, Bucky continues.

“Does he even like guys?”

Your heart stills again and you adjust your clothing before pulling your backpack on properly.  
It’s definitely time to leave.  
Steve perks up again;

“I think so, isn’t he dating that Quill guy?”

“Peter? Is that who Peter’s dating??”

Sam sounds so amazed, and you snort quietly, and aim for the closer of the two doors. You had always wondered when those rumours would calm down.  
As you open it, you swear you hear one of them say; “Lucky guy”

 

The weekly gym session is always followed with the sweetest possible iced coffee that you’re sure undoes your work. But it’s a comfort from the week of stress, especially as deadlines sneak closer. Inside, Natasha and Clint wait, and you settle in the seat beside them, your beverage of choice already on the table.

“Well those pink cheeks aren’t from the work out.”

You shake your head at her words; she knows, even if Clint doesn’t.

“It’s nothing.”

“Come on, even I know better than to believe that”

Okay, maybe Clint does know...  
You shake your head and glance off, well aware that your blush is a beacon by now.

“I uh, I overheard someone correct a friend on my gender when I wasn’t around is all. I was in the shower stall further down and he corrected someone who didn’t know, and, I dunno…” You shrug. “It was good to hear”

Clint opens his mouth to speak, but a hand claps down on his shoulder.  
A good thing you didn’t specify who you heard.

“Hey guys, mind if I borrow Clint for a few minutes?”

Steve stands behind Clint with Bucky beside him. You nod, and as Nat does the same, her phone rings. Which leaves you and Bucky alone as she stands to take the call.

“Mind if I?”

You nod, and he sits. It’s an awkward silence, only because you don’t know what to say. Bucky has always been nice, and you enjoyed working with him, but he’s still rather mysterious. Even now, he casts a look around before setting his gaze on the table. It moves again to the drink in your hand, and he offers a questioning look;

“What is that?”

“Iced caramel latte with extra caramel”

He smiles

“That sounds...incredibly sweet”

“It is, wanna try?”

You offer it out to him, more out of habit than anything. It’s not the first time your beverage has been questioned by a friend. He’s cautious when he sips and he winces at the sweetness.

“That is...very sweet”

“But good, right?”

“I mean…” He glances at you, “It’s not bad.”

“No sweet tooth?”

“This goes beyond sweet tooth, doll, it’s something stronger”

You laugh with him, but his face freezes and he coughs.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean...Y’know…”

“Bucky,”

He looks at you, eyes full of concern

“Dolls can be guys too, it’s fine.”

His face changes, now relieved, and he nods. He opens his mouth to speak, but Nat returns, phone in hand, buzzing again.

“There’s a party tonight.”

“A party...”

You nod; you know where she’s going with this.

“You’re caught up on work right now.”

“Nat…”

“And you need to get out of the house”

“Nat…”

“It’s just a little house party at Tony’s”

“Stark’s?”

Bucky’s voice throws you off, but Nat nods anyway.

“Hope we see you guys there, we’re headed over”

Nat’s gaze flicks to you right as Clint returns and Bucky stands once more.

“See you guys later” Nat offers up the parting comment on behalf of you and Clint, and while he agrees, Bucky looks at you, as if waiting for an answer. You nod a little, just at him, and he smiles. You sip your drink as he leaves, before you remember where that straw was last.

 

You’re wrapped up in a blanket when the banging on your door comes. You know it’s Nat. You know she’s here because you said you’d be ready twenty minutes from now. And you know she knows you haven’t moved. The door opens, and you roll your eyes. Your body crumples lower into the blanket and you pull your book close to you. Until it’s snatched from your vision.

“Naaaaaaaaaaat”

“No, you’re socializing”

“Why though?”

“Because you need to get out of the house, and Bucky will be there”

Your stomach flutters at the thought of him.

“Nat, I can’t pursue that”

“And why not?”

“Because, it’s...it’s Bucky! Look at him! He’s a 6ft wall of muscle, and I’m…” You gesture at yourself without comment.

“And you’re the person he looks at most often. Don’t think I haven’t noticed his sneaky glances, he’s not as subtle as he thinks,” She holds up a hand to stop your response “I know you don’t see them, but I do. He’s smitten and I know it. Just try, okay?”

You grumble and stand, and you know she has already picked what you should wear.

“That key was for emergencies…” You mumble as she pulls you to your closet

“This is an emergency.”

“How?”

“You need to get out, this is an opportunity you can’t miss, and that constitutes emergency.”

She searches through with her back to you and you roll your eyes.

“I heard that”

You laugh; you can’t deny she perks your mood. She pulls out an outfit with which you are too familiar-only because it’s a favourite-and tosses it at you. She turns her back while you change but speaks over her shoulder;

“Who misgendered you and who corrected them?”

You wrestle into your binder before answering.

“Sam and Bucky; same order as questions”

You turn as you’re buttoning up, and she turns too.

“It’s baffling to me that people don’t know”

You’re hitting the top button and she fixes your collar.

“I know, but it’s..part of the whole thing.”

Her hands rest on your shoulders.

“I know I’ve been insistent but are you okay going to this?”

You take a breath and nod.

“How bad can it be?”

 

It isn’t bad, really.

It’s loud and busy and you lose Natasha seconds after going in the door, but you’ve a drink in hand and you’ve ended up beside Sam and Steve. Steve smirks as Sam steps closer, and you struggle not to laugh at his lame palm reading joke that you know is going to lead to him holding your hand. As he attempts to tangle his fingers with yours, you twist your hand around his to his surprise, and press your fingertip to his nose.  
Steve snorts and loses it and you can’t help but fall away giggling as Sam starts up too.

“You’re good”

He ruffles your hair.

“What’s going on here?”

An arm slots around your shoulders, away from Sam’s hand, though his face is lit in grin of mischief and knowing. The arm around you is heavy but the voice doesn’t catch with you right away.

“Just getting familiar with your buddy here”

Sam winks at you and you roll your eyes in return.

“Tryna steal my best guy?”

The voice becomes more obvious, their breath hits your ear and you realise who it is. Your cheeks heat up, but you maintain your composure as best you can.

“I’m ‘your’ guy now, huh, Buck?”

You don’t know where such a line came from, but Sam lets out a low whistle and Steve regards you with a look that can only be described as admiration.

“I’m wounded, doll, and here I thought we had something special.”

You open your mouth to retort, but a body slips between Steve and Sam and there are arms around your waist and you’re in the air and being spun in a circle.

“Peter, I will not hesitate to deck you if you don’t put me down!”

The words come through laughter, and Peter accepts your threat and places you back on the floor. Steve’s face is unreadable and Bucky’s hand has slipped from your shoulder, but Peter’s excitement has you more excited than Bucky’s touch.

“Okay, that’s not how that works for a start but listen, listen…” he glances around and leans in, hand cupped around your ear, as he whispers; “I’ve done some messing and I have my own playlist set up and the DJ’s set turned off,” you cover your mouth as you start laughing and stare at the DJ. Peter is a giddy mess and leans back, and says with complete certainty; “Next song is ours.”

He taps your cheek-an old affectionate habit- and wanders back towards some friends. Your cheeks are hot from laughter, but when you turn back to the group, you notice you’re missing someone.

“Where’d Bucky go?”  
The two share a short look before Sam says “He’s gone to get another drink” with a shrug.

  
Sure enough the next song that comes on is a favourite of yours and you excuse yourself to find him. He’s already jogging towards you, hands out, and you meet his grasp with another fit of laughter. While the section of room dedicated to dancefloor is packed with joyous pairs, you can only focus on Peter. This song had been the reason you met, and it remained a firm favourite through the last year. He spins you, you spin him, he dips you, you don’t even try, but you end up sweaty and giddy, and Peter scoops you in for a hug.

“I’m gonna go for it.”

You grab his cheeks and steady him.

“You sure?”

“Yes, have you _seen_ her, she looks incredible, I’ve _gotta_ .”

You share a glance towards Gamora. She looks stunning as always, you can see why Peter likes her; in dark jeans and heeled boots, she outshines everyone. You clap his back.

“You can do it, Quill.”

“I can do it.”

He glances towards her, then back at you.

“If I can’t do it, can I come over tomorrow for ice cream and jams?”

“Always.”

 

He ventures toward her, and you watch as if he’s on his way into his first day of school. You pour another drink before you slot yourself back with Sam and Steve where you can watch the action, and when Peter looks around for you, you wave. He doesn’t look happy. Bucky is still missing, and the music is loud and the DJ has recovered his old tracks. The music is pounding on your brain and there’s nothing more appealing than going home. When Peter slips up beside you, you wonder if he’s going to ask you to go home and wallow.

“I don’t know how, but it worked, and she’s into me, and we’re going to step outside for a drink.”

Your joy for your friend takes over, despite the niggle in your stomach, and you squish his cheeks as he laughs.

“Okay, go go go, she’s coming over.”

Your hands are still on his cheeks when she steps up.

“Am I interrupting?” She smirks, and for a full moment, you think you might be in love with her.

“Nah, I’m reminding Quill of his curfew.”

He makes a face at you, but Gamora laughs and you laugh with her.

“Oh I’ll keep it in mind.”

She gives you a nod and the two walk off together. You turn to Sam and Steve, and they’re both staring as if waiting for explanation. Sam’s mouth is just a little open, and you reach forward, one fingertip to his chin, and push it shut.

“You’re catching flies there, sweetheart.”

You wink and Steve laughs and it’s like they forgot what they wanted to ask.

 

At some point through Steve and Sam’s drunk analysis of Game of Thrones, (“put the dragon on the throne, no one fucks with a dragon!”) Bucky returns, though stiffer than before. His arm stays by his side. Alcohol makes you just a little braver.

“What, I’m not your best guy any more, Buck?”

He laughs and forgets whatever plagued him and throws an arm around your shoulders.

“You’re my best guy until you tell me you’re someone else’s.”

You look up at him as he brings the bottle to his lips and your breath hitches at how good he looks like that. His hair is up in a messy bun in the middle of the back of his head, and a few strands fall in soft whispers along his cheeks.

You don’t ask him to move his hand.  
You don’t say you’re anyone else’s.  
You wrap your arm around his waist.

He doesn’t say anything.  
You just stay there, content and cosy and familiar.


	2. Chapter 2

Hours pass, tied with more Sam and Steve debates, some you join in with and others Bucky tackles. The sky is brightening, and at some point you’d ended up sitting, still wrapped up in Bucky, while another discussion takes the floor. Many have cleared out and Tony himself saunters over, a creeping blush of drunkenness in his cheeks.

“Guys, I love you, you know I do, but I think it might be bedtime.”

“For you or for us?” Steve’s retort isn’t as cheeky as it could be.

“Both? Either? Anyway, if you guys need a place to crash, Steve, you know where the first guest room is, you two,” he gestures between you and Bucky, “who I am loving, by the way, you can take the other one, but don’t do gross stuff in the guest room.”

Steve glances at Sam and together they rise, say a quick “goodnight” and traipse off to the first guest room.

“I’ll take you lovebirds to the other one!”

Shakily and slowly, Tony leads you right to the door of what you assume is the guest room. Your heart thumps in your chest, screams that you can leave this. Every scenario runs through your head; regardless of your feelings, sleeping with him right now is terrifying, and you don’t even know if that’s on the table or it’s the alcohol that has his arm around you. Tony pulls you from your spiral as he opens the door.

“I love this, but please…” His hands come together as if begging.

“We won’t do anything gross.” Bucky speaks for you both.

“Thank you.” He wobbles off and stumbles into a room you only assume is his.

Then you turn your attention back to your room for the night. It’s spacious, and the bed is huge, your anxiety is momentarily forgotten as you leave Bucky’s half embrace and explore. After a quick look around the room and around the ensuite bathroom, you sit on the bed and bounce a little. You’d forgotten Bucky’s presence until he chuckles. You don’t speak, you only shoot him a questioning look.

“Cute.”

The one word is enough to make you blush and you look away. He closes the door and walks toward you with his hands in his pockets.

He stops in front of you, and with a hand to your chin, moves your face to look toward him. Your eyes meet, and you stomach sinks and flips in the same moment. It’s frightening.

He smiles, and it’s such a sweet sight. He is captivating.

The hand on your chin moves, cups your cheek, and his other hand mirrors the motion on your other cheek. You rise to your full height, still far shorter than him, and you wrap your arms around his waist. It’s the closest you’ve been to him. You feel so small with him, but so comfortable. He leans, his forehead bumps against yours, you both laugh breathy laughs, but those laughs end when you feel his breath on your lips and he looks in your eyes.

He is everything.

Captivating is not strong enough.

Enchanting, enrapturing, endlessly beautiful.

Nothing would ever be enough to describe this moment.

“If you want me to stop…” his whisper trails into nothingness but you shake your head.

But there’s a soft buzzing somewhere, and as much as you try to ignore it, you know it’s Nat looking for you. You look over your shoulder at your phone-it had fallen on the bed during your little bounce test- but it’s not Nat.

It’s Peter.

The message preview is bright on the screen. 

_“I LOVE YOU”_

You laugh; things must have gone well.

Bucky’s hands drop to his sides and he steps away. Your face drops as you look at him, but he won’t look back.

“How are we going to do this...uh...this?” He waves a hand at the bed.

“If you’re not comfortable, one can sleep over the covers and the other under them?”

But then you remember you’re wearing a button shirt. And a binder. You can’t sleep with your binder on, but your shirt won’t close right without it. There’s panic in your throat, but Bucky sees it just as fast as it starts.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He’s in front of you again, one hand on your waist and the other on your cheek.

“No no, it’s nothing.”

“Don’t lie, doll, that’s not fair.”

“I uh…” you take a breath.

“I can’t sleep in my binder but I can’t sleep in just my shirt because it won’t close right without a binder.

Bucky chews his lip for a second and then smiles.

“If you don’t mind _me_ showing a little skin…”

He steps back and pulls his own t-shirt over his head, leaving his torso bare.

“I sleep without a t-shirt anyway.” He shrugs and he holds the t-shirt out to you.

You gape a little before you look at his face again.

“I...uh...thank you, Bucky.”

He nods, and you rush off to the bathroom. There’s some worry in you; just how much is this going to show? Will your curves be obvious? Will you feel okay? Will he expect anything in return?

Once changed, you return, and he’s sitting at the side of the bed, looking through his phone. His t-shirt hangs to your thighs, but your jeans are still on.

“It looks good on you.”

He smiles, and you smile back before you circle the bed and check your phone. Peter has sent a few texts in a row, each one a little less decipherable than the last, and all with pure joy. You promise to meet him tomorrow, and shoot Nat a quick reply so she knows you’re okay. You’ll explain later.

You yawn and slip under the covers and Bucky glances back at you. He pulls his hair from the tie and lets it loose. He glances at the covers.

“You can come under the blanket, Buck. I won’t bite.”

He smirks.

“And if I want you to?”

You laugh and the blush rises to your ears, but your phone vibrates again as Bucky slips under the covers with you. More from Peter.

Bucky’s jaw tenses and you can’t help but notice.

“Hey, whats up?”

He shakes his head.

“Nothing, don’t worry.”

“Hey, I wasn’t allowed to lie, neither are you”

He pauses and you think for a moment he might tell you but he simply gets out of bed.

“Buck-”

The light switches off and the bed dips beside you as he gets back in.

“I just…” he thinks for a moment, “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll keep to myself.”

None of you wants that. You crave his warmth, you can feel it even at this distance. You want to be pressed against him, cosy and safe as you felt before. Soft snores fill the room as he falls asleep and you stay firmly at your side of the bed. You turn away from him and you can’t stop your mind from racing over everything that just happened. Early morning peeks through the curtain, and you feel him shift. His breath hits the back of your neck and in nothing close to conscious instinct, he reaches out to drape an arm over your waist. You freeze, but he feels so lovely. Little by little, he scoots closer, until his cheek is pressed between your shoulder blades. It’s even better than you imagined.

His warmth lulls you to sleep, and you nuzzle down against the pillow, with one hand over Bucky’s.

 

It’s Tony knocking on the door that wakes you. 

“Wakey wakey, kids. Please don’t do anything gross.”

For a man who could barely stand earlier, he’s incredibly chirpy.

You check your phone; 10:47am.

You note the stream of missed messages and promise you’ll deal with them later, but for now, you turn and enjoy the embrace you’ve been locked in since you fell asleep.

With your face to his chest, Bucky readjusts until his chin is on your head, though the motion itself stirs him.

He groans and yawns at once, and kisses your head before he reaches back for his phone.

It feels so normal.

Until he looks down and his entire body jerks in surprise, whether it’s at your proximity or what he’s done, you don’t know.

“Mornin’, Buck.” You glance up at him but nuzzle back into the blankets.

“Uh, morning.” He wiggles his arms from you and checks his phone properly as he sits up.

 _Well, guess I won’t be going back to sleep,_ you think.

“It feels...way too early.” You sit up and stretch. Your back pops and you rub your shoulder as you yawn and realise just how gross you feel. There’s a certain sweatiness to sleeping beside another person that you had entirely forgotten.

Your phone buzzes, this time with a phonecall.

“Morning, Quill”

“YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE”

You move the phone away from your ear and Bucky gives you a confused look.

“He’s loud when he’s excited”

You explain. Bucky’s face changes and he moves to get fixed up.

“Peter, just meet me at my place, you can tell me then, I’ll text you when I’m almost there.”

“OKAY, YES, I LOVE YOU”

“Love you too” you laugh as you hang up the phone, but that same strange expression crosses Bucky’s features. Though your eyes wander as you realise he is still very shirtless.

“Oh, my apologies, I’ll give you your t-shirt back.” You stand and start to gather your things to get changed, but he raises a hand.

“Don’t worry about it, Steve has some clothes here, you don’t want to do the walk of shame now, do you?” He forces a laugh.

“I dunno, Buck, I’m already coming home in someone else’s clothes” You giggle, but you go to the bathroom before you can really hear a response.

You keep his t-shirt on, but you add your binder so you feel a bit more normal. In the time you were changing and readying yourself, Steve has dropped a shirt off and Bucky is clothed, though there’s misery on his face. You think back to last night and your courage comes back. You approach him and wrap your arms around his neck, though he stiffens at the motion.

“Thanks, Bucky.”

“What for?” His words are barely a breath.

“Your t-shirt, your warmth, your companionship, pick one.” You laugh, and you kiss him on the cheek before the smell of breakfast becomes too much, and you follow the scent without another glance at him.

 

With a full tummy, you arrive home, and you’re barely in your door when Peter barges in, all arms flailing and excitement.

“Dude, she’s so cool, she’s so nice, she _kissed me_ , we had the best talk ever, and like, there was a spark, like a real spark, and I’m not dumb enough to ignore that, it was so cool, I can’t believe it!”

The words run together and you need to concentrate to hear everything, but you respond with a hug and you match his exuberance.

“I’m so happy it worked out! When are you seeing her again? Are you guys gonna date?”

Peter opens his mouth to answer but pauses; “That’s not your shirt”

You look down; of course, you’re still in Bucky’s shirt.

“Oh, I’ll explain later”

“No, no, that shirt is...I recognise it,” He thinks hard, then clicks his fingers and points at you accusingly, “That’s Bucky Barnes’ shirt!”

His finger wags.

“Oh ho ho, you have gotta tell me everything.”

You shake your head. “One thing at a time.”

“We can come back to my thing, I came home in my own clothes!”

“Okay, okay, I spent last night beside him, and then Tony put us in a room together and I couldn’t sleep in my binder so he gave me his t-shirt, that’s all!”

“You slept in a room with him?!”

“Uhhhhhhh, in the same bed too.”

Peter looks shocked and proud at the same time, and he just holds your shoulders.

“Please tell me you made a move.”

You sigh.

“I tried, kinda. But he was so...hot and cold, y’know? He seemed interested, he kept his arm around me, gave me his shirt, waited for the okay to share the bed, but he also pulled back from all that. He left after you hugged me, he got all cold when we got to the room, this morning, I woke up to him spooning me and he kissed my head,” you raise a hand to Peter’s jaw drop, “and then he jumped back as if he’d been scalded. I don’t understand.”

Peter thinks for a moment, and from the movie playing out on his features, you can guess what emotions he’s going though in each moment.

“Maybe you’re the first guy he’s liked?”

You consider it for a moment; “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do? Are you keeping his shirt?”

You shrug.

“Honestly, I have no idea. Anyway, back to your thing; when are you seeing Gamora again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	3. Chapter 3

The next week and a half is a blur. 

Study, final exams, and the bare minimum of sleep have the weekend stirred into some kind of paste in your mind. 

But your pen is set down, and you’re in the open air, and Peter scoops you up in a celebratory hug.

“We did it!” 

You’re joined steadily by friends as they leave their final exams. Well wishes are exchanged with hugs and promises to stay in touch, but your closest friends group around you, and when Nat and Clint join the circle, they bring Steve, Sam, and of course, Bucky. 

“So that’s it,” Sam puts his hands in his pockets and sighs in relief, “I have never been more thankful for exams to finish.”

Tony wanders over, phone in hand, thumbs tapping and sunglasses on, “Y’know, if you guys are going to be cliché and sappy outside of the exam hall, we could add to it.” 

It sounds like a plan has been forming in him, and you see it in his smile. 

“Howsabout we take the sap and the feelings and the celebration to the beach? Not everyone,” he casts a look at Nat, whose expression drips with introversion if it could be expressed, “but just us. Bring boyfriends and girlfriends and date mates and just have a nice time at the beach.”

The group shrugs and agrees. The idea of a barbecue is added, and before long, it’s a full plan, a nice way to end the college year. But while they discuss and develop this mini-party, you notice from the corner of your eye that Bucky is staring. You step away from Peter and towards him, though he tries to disguise his staring with a quick look away.

“Penny for your thoughts there, Buck.”

“Nothing, just uh…” he clears his throat, though it didn’t sound too genuine, “you look nice in my t-shirt is all.”   
And true enough, you’d added it for good luck.

“I figured it would get me through the final exam with some luck on my side. I really will give it back at some point.”   
“I don’t believe that for a second.” 

You share a smile with him, and the planning around you drifts away. It’s just you and him, and you want nothing more than a repeat of how his arm stayed on your shoulders last time. But this time, he doesn’t even try.

“It’s settled!”

You trust Nat will fill you in, but Bucky steps away too quickly for you to say anything. As if he’s trying to avoid you.

It stings a bit but you turn to Nat and Clint.    
“I assume you heard none of that?” She quirks an eyebrow and you laugh.

“Not a bit.”    
“But you’re coming.” It’s not a question.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“And is he joining you?” She nods to a spot over your shoulder at Bucky.

“Why would he?”   
Her face changes and she looks confused; not a common look for her.

“I thought after seeing all that interaction and since you’re still wearing his shirt that maybe you guys had…” she looks for a word, “made some progress.”   
You shrug.

“Not likely. If anything, he seems to be avoiding me.”

Nat and Clint share their own look, but before you can question it, Peter steps to your side and whispers excitedly about how he’s going to invite Gamora.

 

When you arrive with Nat and Clint, most of the others are already there. But no Bucky. Nat gets out first, but as you start to, Clint grabs your shoulder.    
“Look, kiddo,” 

“We’re the same age.”

“Shut it, and listen.”

The shadow of a smile he had fades.   
“Look, I know you how you feel about Bucky. It’s obvious and we’re not going to lie about it.”

You nod, swallowing thickly and nervously wringing your fingers. 

“But you gotta see he feels the same way, right?”

You sigh and lean back against the seat.   
“I don’t know, Clint. It doesn’t feel like he does. That night at Tony’s, it felt like something might happen, but at every turn, he just switched. I don’t know what to expect from him at any time, it’s frustrating, but I don’t exactly want to push it if I’m going to get an answer I don’t want either.”

“What do you mean an answer you don’t want?”   
He knows, you know he knows, but he wants to be sure he isn’t assuming. But you can’t keep his gaze either. You look out at the beach.

“I am terrified he’s going to say he doesn’t want me because of the way I am. When he cuddled me, it was nice, it was comfortable, but I wasn’t binding. Since then, as many times as I’ve replayed it, I can’t tell if he did it because of feelings he has or if he did it because he saw a girl beside him. And if it’s the.... Girl aspects he sees and likes me with, I don’t want to pursue him, I don’t want to be told down the line that he won’t like me because of how much I’ll change. I’m not even on hormones yet, there’s so much that’s going to change, and I don’t want to be with him if he won’t like me after those changes.” 

It felt good to get it out there. But Clint waited, you knew what he wanted to ask.

“It’s happened before.” 

His jaw tightens and his fists ball. 

“He told me he liked me, he treated me like I was his number one, he acted like I was all he wanted. But after months of that, he told me he didn’t think he could like me after any...changes I made, because…” you swallow a lump in your throat, “because he doesn’t like men.”

“Who the fu-”

“Don’t, it’s done. I don’t talk to him anymore, I don’t see him or anything. But you don’t forget that. I don’t want that again.” The last words come out as a whisper, and he turns in the front of the car, awkwardly over the seat, and wraps an arm around you. It’s a badly ordered hug, but it helps. You stay attached to him, and his voice comes out low and furious; “He won’t do that. If he does a damn thing to treat you even close to that, I promise you, he’ll regret it.”

You smile. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

 

You disentangle from him and you both step out of the car and you walk together towards Nat, who had been sitting on the wall this whole time. 

“Did he help?” 

You nod.    
“Figured he could, he’s putting those notes together for weeks” 

Clint shoves her arm playfully, and together, you traipse towards your friends. The sun belts down in the most unforgiving fashion, and you can’t help the urge to curl your toes into the sand. Ahead, you see Peter standing with Gamora, hand in hand, and you can’t help but smile at them. He sees you too, and says something to her before running up the beach to you and lifting you in a hug. 

“Peter, I swear to God, I will actually end you for lifting me so much.” the threat isn’t so convincing when it’s laced with laughter. He puts you down, and too quickly, his hand is cupped around your ear as he whispers excitedly.    
“Dude, she’s been holding my hand all day, without prompt, like I let it to her to decide, and she just grabbed it and I think,  _ I think _ , this might be it, she might be my girlfriend, I’m waiting to see how she introduces herself, but I am  _ bricking it. _ ”    
You giggle and you hug him. As you do, Steve and Sam walk by, they wave a quick “hello”, and you return it, but your focus stays on Peter. He doesn’t want a response, he just wants celebration and his arms tighten around your waist in return. All the same, you whisper “I’m so damn happy for you, Peter.”    
You pull back and look at each other for a long moment, it’s pure joy, you know how much he adores her. Bucky passes, and from the corner of your eye, you see him look at you two, but then Peter puts his hands on your shoulders. 

“You deserve it too, y’know.” 

You swallow and bite your tongue as you cast a glance over your shoulder at Bucky. You swallow the sick feeling that followed the conversation with Clint. Peter knows that story too well, and you don’t want him to remember it just now.

“One of us at a time, the universe can only do so much.” He ruffles your hair, and together you return to the group. 

Upon your return, Sam nods and winks, but you roll your eyes in return, but all with a smile on your face. Everyone settles in different spots, all close together, but in smaller groups. You sit with Nat, Sam, and Steve. Nat and Steve are in some intense conversation, but Sam turns to you.    
“You know, now that exams are over, we gotta hang out more. Like, regular hang out, not party hang out.”

“What’s your preference, Wilson?”   
“Video games and pizza?” 

“I feel like we’re an inch away from Netflix and chill”

“I mean, more than an inch, but…” He shrugs and you punch his shoulder lightly as laughter erupts from you. 

“Yes, we should hang out.”

“It would be a nice change from these two, don’t get me wrong, I love ‘em, but y’know…” He makes a gesture with his hands and you nod.    
“Somehow, I get it.” 

“Is that what’s happening with you two?” He nods towards Peter. 

“What do you mean?”

He licks his lips and plans his words.

“I mean, he’s getting pretty cosy with Gamora…”

“Yeah, I’m so glad! Between you and me, he’s liked her for a long time, and I’m so glad it worked out.” You look over your shoulder at them, and he’s telling some animated story with his free hand waving and the other entwined with hers.

“Wait, you knew?”

“Of course, I did! He tells me everything. Why wouldn’t I know?”

“I mean...your boyfriend chasing someone else isn’t something you’d always know, but hey, if you guys are happy!” Sam shrugs.

“Wait, no, what?” 

“What?”   
“Boyfriend?”   
“Is he...not your boyfriend?”   
“No. He never has been.” 

“What the fuck, why didn’t you say?”   
“Because I thought you figured it out from the,” you sigh and glance around, “from how I was with Bucky.”

“We had no idea! We thought maybe you guys were open or something, but not like...there’s nothing at all there?”   
“No, not even a little.”

Sam looks around and it’s like a revelation. It ends there, but it sticks in your mind. And when Bucky walks towards you, confused eyes on Peter and Gamora, it hits you.

Sam starts to rise, but you clamp your hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t tell him.”   
He waits for an explanation but you just shake your head. “Trust me”   
He raises his hands in defeat and when Bucky sits beside you, you let your hand go around his waist. 

“You’re really never taking that shirt off, huh?”

“It’s a little early to be getting me out of my clothes, Buck.”

You laugh with him but he doesn’t put his arm around you like before. You take yours back, and you watch the sea. You picture walking along the beach, hand in hand with Bucky. Splashing him, laughing with him, feeling like a real couple. It’s still scary. The memory of rejection twists in your gut but he stands abruptly. He looks at Sam, then at Peter and Gamora, then at you. He leans down, closer, closer, and you think he’s finally making a move, but instead…

He throws you over his shoulder.

You’re too surprised to object, and Bucky walks down the beach with a purposeful stride. You look at your friends with pure confusion. Peter is cheering, Gamora looks confused but happy, Sam and Steve are in stitches. You’re almost at the water you guess, and you’re proved right when he stops and pulls you from his shoulder. He gives you time to find your feet, then puts his hands on your cheeks.

“Peter’s not your boyfriend?”   
“No.”   
“You don’t have a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Or a date mate of any sort?”   
“No.”    
“Thank fuckin’ God.” 

Bucky captures your lips in a kiss. His arms wrap around your waist, one of yours goes around his shoulders and one of your hands lands on his neck. It’s a slow, passionate, adoring kiss, and you savour it. When you break away, you finally hear your friends cheering. 

“I thought Quill was your boyfriend.”    
“No! No, you should have asked, I mean...that night at Tony’s, I thought...y’know…”   
“No, I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I couldn’t, not when his name was popping up and when I saw his message, I assumed, and I shouldn’t have.”

“Idiot.” You laugh as you say it and you pull him down for another kiss. He pulls back, forehead still against yours.

“Can I assume I at least read you reciprocating my feelings right?”   
“You did, you definitely did.”

“Good,” He places a kiss on the tip of your nose, “we’ve plenty lost time to make up for then”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! Strange to write something both multi-chapter and safe for work, but I had fun with it. Should I do more multi-chapter fics? Let me know in any of my social media, and thank you as always for reading!  
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**Author's Note:**

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